Some time ago, I made a video about Stephen R. Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I was experimenting with AI to generate videos automatically. The experiment didn't have the impact I'd hoped for, but it was fun. Watching it now, I'm surprised by how much the tools have evolved in such a short time.
The book still feels worth recommending. It's one I'd like everyone to read at least once, even if each person keeps only what helps them. Some ideas sound familiar until you try to practice them in an argument, a week full of urgent demands, or a project that's lost its direction.
What stays with me most is how much effectiveness depends on our choices and relationships. You can organize a calendar beautifully and still devote all of it to things that don't matter to you. You can finish every task and stop listening to the people you share your life with.
The seven habits give me questions to examine that. Here's how I connect them to concrete situations.
1. Recognize where you can act
The first habit, Be Proactive, asks us to take responsibility for our response and focus on what we can influence.
An everyday application: when something gets stuck, look for a possible action alongside describing the problem. Clarify a request, ask for help, try another approach, or have the conversation you've been putting off.
That doesn't make everything our fault. There are circumstances we didn't choose and real limits. I find “What can I do from here?” useful because it helps me find some room to act without pretending I control the entire outcome.
2. Know what you're doing it for
The second habit suggests beginning with the end in mind: guiding decisions toward what we value and want to build.
I think about how easy it is to get excited about a new tool. You can spend hours adjusting a video or a prototype without asking what you wanted to achieve. Learn? Explain an idea? Solve something for someone?
In that experiment with automatic videos, trying and learning had value too, even if the impact wasn't what I'd expected. A clear purpose helps us judge an attempt more honestly than views or the amount of output alone.
3. Make room for what matters
The third habit, Put First Things First, brings that intention into the calendar. Urgent things usually find their way in. Important things often need us to save them a place.
Learning something, caring for a relationship, or thinking through a project can wait until tomorrow. Then until Monday. Weeks go by doing necessary things while what we say we value keeps waiting for spare time.
You can start by setting aside some time for one priority. That also means negotiating commitments and acknowledging that everything won't fit. A full calendar can't accommodate every new request without displacing something else.
4. Look for agreements we can sustain
Think Win-Win invites us to seek mutual benefit. I find it particularly useful when a conversation starts feeling like a contest over who will give in first.
If someone accepts an unworkable agreement just to end the argument, the problem will probably return. Discussing needs, boundaries, and expectations may take longer, but it gives both sides something they can commit to.
Some agreements aren't right for us either. Being able to say so early helps protect both the relationship and the work each person is prepared to take on.
5. Listen before preparing your answer
The fifth habit is Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood. To me, it's one of the easiest to agree with in theory and forget during a difficult conversation.
Someone is still explaining what's happening, and we already have a solution, a defense, or a similar story ready to tell. We can try something simpler: let them finish and check whether we understood.
“Is this what worries you?” can save a whole argument about a problem the other person never raised. We still need to express our own position afterward. Listening gives what we say a better foundation.
6. Let another perspective improve the idea
Covey uses Synergize to describe building on differences to find solutions that wouldn't emerge from individual effort.
The word can sound corporate, but the experience is very human. You show an idea, someone notices something you missed, and the proposal changes. For that to happen, we need more than a division of tasks: we have to let another person's contribution reshape what we intended to do.
In a project, that might mean asking before making a final decision. At home, it could mean finding an option that wasn't in either person's original proposal. Sometimes the hardest part is loosening our grip on authorship so the result can improve.
7. Care for the person doing all this
The seventh habit, Sharpen the Saw, concerns renewing our physical, mental, social, and spiritual capacities. That last dimension can be understood through the meaning and values that guide our lives.
I like that the book ends there. After responsibility, priorities, and collaboration, it returns to the person making the effort. Resting, learning, caring for relationships, and having time to think need space too.
Our opportunities and energy aren't always the same. I'd bring it down to a small question: what have I stopped caring for, and what could I recover this week? Perhaps a conversation, a walk, or an afternoon without adding another commitment.
A book for looking at your decisions again
I wouldn't try to adopt all seven habits at once. I'd choose the one that feels most uncomfortable or most necessary right now and find a concrete occasion to practice it. A conversation where you can listen better. Time set aside for something important. A decision that needs a clearer purpose.
That's why I keep recommending the book. Learning the names of the habits takes a few minutes; recognizing how they play out in our lives takes more attention. That's where I find its value.
Here's that video I made while experimenting with AI. I look back fondly on those attempts and on how much has changed. The tools have come a long way; several of the book's questions are still with us. Sending you a hug.